I’d always read about autistic people having difficulty with faces. Usually in regards to recognizing emotions and reading body language, but also in recognizing people. It’s called prosopagnosia, also known as ‘face blindness’, and is defined as the inability to remember faces, or sometimes even to differentiate a face from an object. I’d read about this often being something that autistics deal with, but always thought that was a symptom I just didn’t have. I can recognize my parents’ faces, my siblings, my cousins, grandparents, best friends, long-term classmates, and most teachers. If I meet someone I consider interesting, I’ll probably remember their face. Then I went to college, away from my small class of forty-two graduating students, some of whom I’d known for twelve years.
I started getting greeted by people I’d just met and completely not knowing why they were talking to me or why they knew my name unless they mentioned what class we had together, or how we’d met. I’d be unable to remember what name went with each person, and facebook (ironically named for this post) became a saving grace. I’d always had difficulty remembering names, but for the longest time I figured that was just because I knew too many people and that they only recognized me because of my unusual hair, so it was just natural some would slip my mind and I couldn’t be expected to remember everyone. Once in college, it was a jump into the deep end to try and keep everyone’s names and faces straight.
There was one particular class I remember that made it all crystal clear to me that perhaps I did have a mild version of this autistic symptom. I had a project I was supposed to present with a partner the next time we had class, and I was feeling fairly confident since she was a nice person and we’d done some good research. The day comes, and I go up to get ready to present. I’m pulling up our powerpoint presentation and realize I can’t spot her in the class. I start completely panicking, thinking that maybe she’s sick that day and I’d have to present her half of the project. I started frantically looking at the door, looking nervously at the teacher, reading over her half of the powerpoint so that I could practice at least a little and not bomb in front of the class… then at the last moment this girl walks up with a big smile and asks if I’m ready to go. Relief flooded me because I realized the only reason I thought she was absent was because she’d changed her hairstyle and that was how I’d been recognizing her up until that point.
I told this story to my fiance, and he just told me, “Yep, sounds like you had an autistic moment.” It took me a moment to realize, yeah, I had. And somehow, that felt really good to know.
If you’ve experienced moments like this, feel free to share them in the comments section, I’d love to hear all about it. Like, share, or follow me here, on Facebook (Some Girl with a Braid), or Twitter (@AmalenaCaldwell) for future updates if you enjoy my posts.
Some Girl with a Braid says: See you tomorrow for the project presentation!
Girl with Ponytail says: Yep!
(Next day in class)
Some Girl with a Braid thinks: Oh no, she’s absent today, I’m screwed. Oh no, oh help, oh no…
Girl with Ponytail who’s hair is now open says: Hey! Ready to present our project?
Some Girl with a Braid says: Yep, all set up and ready to go!
Some Girl with a Braid thinks: Oh thank goodness, she just changed her hair.